‘I couldn’t keep him safe.’ Scary close call with her baby inspires mom of 1 to lose 44 lbs

He started with what he knew he needed most—responsibility

He says: “I had all kinds of tools and opportunities, but I had no responsibility. “I realized that I would not be able to exercise in my life by doing what I was doing. I needed to plan that first and then figure everything out.”

Her husband Will was healthy and active, but she didn’t want to turn to him for responsibility: “You can’t expect your partner to take responsibility and still love them at the same time one.”

She relied on him for emotional support as well as practical help with meal planning, grocery shopping and cooking. “I could not have done this without my husband’s support. If I need to go to the gym, he makes sure he is at home to take care of our little one or take him to school,” she says.

For responsibility, he began working with trainer Eddie Escobar at Ultimate Performance in Los Angeles. “I told him that I wanted him to hold me accountable – no excuses. I’m any kind of person, and I wanted to commit completely, even on Thanksgiving and Christmas. If that was it means hurting my family members because I wasn’t eating their pies or their food, I had to stick to my guns, for me, my little one and my family.”

He did so, even on holidays, birthday parties and wine tastings for friends in Temecula. He says: “I was a designated driver. “I decided to stick with the project. I made any excuse I could and said, ‘Let me give it my all for 12 to 20 weeks.'”

His mission includes:

• Weight training in the morning from two to three times a week: “I’m not a morning person, so the fact that I’ve always wanted to get up early and do this before work is huge. That change is not good for me.”
• Aim for 10,000 steps a day, even if that means walking back and forth indoors.
• Other exercises, including Pilates, strength training classes and boxing: “I’m trying new things that I wouldn’t have tried a year ago. I enjoy socializing, making connections and finding joy in my movement. ”
• Finding a good work/life balance. Once he leaves work at the end of the work day, he doesn’t go back in to try to finish notes or charts: “I have food to make, a little one to play with and things to do.”
• Getting a regular, restorative eight hours of sleep every night: “Before, I was sleeping four to five hours every night and now I was only sleeping one day a week. every few.”

More macros to track, less fast food

Eating junk food and fast food was a daily routine for Byers – sometimes more than once a day. He says he was at Jack-in-the-Box so often that the staff noticed when he got a new car. And after he changed his ways and his Chinese restaurant had not heard from him for a long time, they called to see if he was doing well.

She has learned to track macros (protein, fat and carbohydrates) and uses a meal plan service called Macroplate. Now that she’s reached her goal, she adds healthy carbs like quinoa, rice, and oats. On weekends, she will eat with her husband, sister or other family members once or twice. He says: “I don’t fall behind or care about what I eat at that time, and on Monday I go back to work.”

He went through a week when life got busy and stopped tracking his food. “I noticed that I felt more tired, frustrated and angry. Looking back on it, I had produced too much sugar. I realized that sugar was affecting my ability to sleep well and my overall happiness, even if it felt good at the time,” he says. “I’ve learned that it’s okay to eat good food, but in moderation, not before bed, because sugar makes me sleepy.”

He also drinks a lot of water. “I drank two quad-shot espresso ice lattes a day, along with Dr. Pepper and liquor. “I was drinking all this caffeine and I felt very tired,” he says. “Now I don’t drink coffee or soda anymore. I only drink one soft drink a day. Movement and nutrition have given me strength and life again. ”

Now that he is healthy, he is aware of the consequences of his choices: “When I give more food and go out with friends, how does that make me feel? How is my sleep affected? How is my job affected? I am learning what is good for my body.”

Movement improved his mental health

Byers saw a mental health counselor before her daughter was born to develop strategies for coping with the postpartum period. She later contacted a counselor because she had mixed feelings about her daughter.

She says: “I thought of Holly jumping out of bed, climbing out the window and onto the balcony, even though she was a newborn. “And then, four months after I had Holly, I lost my grandmother. It made me feel down, I think life is fragile. I was really struggling to be present in my family’s life.”

She didn’t have any energy or motivation, she didn’t like the way she looked, and she was frustrated that her husband was in such good shape.

I was not very happy. I was sad when Will wanted to eat well or didn’t want to go with me. I felt judged inside for my choice, to eat dumplings and Jack in the Box every night of the week,” she says. “I would slap him every time he wanted to go to the gym. and exercise. I was very upset, and I didn’t know why. Looking back, it was because I envied him having such discipline and attitude. take care of yourself. I didn’t have the tools.”

He would tell his counselor he would work hard, but he didn’t: “Every week I would show up and I had to admit I didn’t do my homework. made for home. I felt like a failure, so I started splitting my appointments more and more.”

At the gym, he stopped talking about what he was going to do and started doing it. “That helped me a lot to be mentally healthy. I feel sane, I don’t have many emotions and less anxiety,” he says.

He has changed his relationships with the people he loves

Byers changed his mind, and that changed his relationship with Will. “Before, I felt sorry for him that this is what he has been married to all his life. I was bored and tired. I didn’t want him to hit me or look at me sometimes. I wanted to watch my shows and escape from the world. We were able to meet again and be on the same side in our marriage,” he says.

They love to travel, and recently took their first big trip, to the Cook Islands, as she begins to focus on her health. “It was the first time I was looking forward to a trip. I enjoyed wearing cute clothes and swimwear, going kayaking and being active. “I wasn’t just eating nachos and drinking,” he says.

He also started new family routines. Every night before her daughter goes to bed, they go for a family walk and play in the backyard and play: “We make sure we eat dinner early to set the time his.”